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“Hau, Koda’s (hi friends), most of you know me, but those that don’t my real name is John Big Balls. It might be my Indian name but I never did like my name. You would not believe the fights I got into with other Indians and white boys just because of my odd name.”

“I legally dropped the “Big” out of my name a long time ago, so now I am John Balls, my older friends call me Johnny Balls, and my younger friends call me Johnny Ballz, with the Z instead of the S.”

“I invited you to come to this little meeting tonight because I need your support on an idea that has been floating around in my head for quite some time now.”

Earlier that week I asked the local Catholic priest if I could rent the parish hall for the evening. And, I spent the last three weeks passing out flyers notify the tribal member of the meeting being held tonight. I put out a sign up sheet and one hundred twenty-nine people signed it. It helped that I promised to give away ten dollar gas cards to all who attended and to hold a couple of cash drawings. I thought the turn out was worth the two thousand dollars that I would be spending on the meeting. Of course, I would have liked more people to attend but I was pleased with the 129 people who showed up.

“Let me get right to the point - As you know us Dakota Indians once owned half of the state of Minnesota, but we got kicked out of Minnesota in 1863, and the US government in 1867 created the Nawizi (Jealousy) Reservation here in South Dakota because some of our ancestors served as scouts for the US government.”

“The new Governor of Minnesota is talking about building a casino in the Minneapolis area. The former Governor proposed the same idea several years ago with the Northern Minnesota Chippewa’s, but he couldn’t pull it off.”

“Excuse me John,” Ernie Little White Man interrupted, “I heard that too, but I never heard the reasons why the “Rabbit Choker’s” (Chippewa Indians) backed off from the Governors proposal.”

“Do you know why they did John?”

“As I recall Ernie there were three reasons.

Number one the anti-gambling forces were against the expansion of gaming in Minnesota for the usual moral and religious reasons.

Number two the “Rabbit Choker’s” as you call them,” every one laughs, “Have always been a stubborn bunch of Indians.” “I have to admire the Chippewa’s for not backing down from the government in the past, but it was that same attitude today that they decided not to partnership with the State of Minnesota.”

“And, the third reason was the Siouxdoe Indian tribe of Minnesota threw out a lot of money to the Chippewa’s so that they would not partnership with the state to build a casino.”

“The Siouxdoe Tribe of course wants to protect its gaming monopoly in the Minneapolis area.”

“Well, anyway, I think that since we use to own half of Minnesota and even though we now live outside the State we should be allowed to make a deal with them.”

“Heck other businesses do it all the time.” “Foreign companies come into to the state and the state welcomes them with open arms.”

“No one knows for sure how much the eighteen Indian casinos in Minnesota earn because the tribes obviously don’t want anyone to know, but, it was reported in the Minneapolis Tribune that the Siouxdoe Tribe near Minneapolis nets over $750 million dollars a year.”

“Did you hear what I said?

“I said they NET over $750 million dollars a year.”

“Their fakey-ass Indian members each get over a million dollars a year in per capita payments.”

“Most of them only got a drop of Indian blood, just like them fakey-ass Pequot Indians out in Connecticut.” “Hell, most, if not all of them in Connecticut are black and white people posing as Indians.”

“That’s what pee’s me off.” “Fakey-ass Indians getting rich while us real Indians live from the cradle to the grave in poverty.”

Donald Many Ducks raised his hand. “Yes Donald,” I said.

“Johnny Balls before I get to my point I have the same problem you do, I don’t know how many times I have been called Donald Duck in my life time.”

“But, in my case, I have to keep my name the way its is, if I drop the Many in my name that means my new name will be Donald Duck.”

“Our odd names are one of the small indignities us Indians have to bare, besides living on isolated reservations, and as you mentioned living from the cradle to the grave in poverty.”

“I support your idea of going to back to Minnesota and partner shipping with them to build a casino in the Twin Cities area.”

“Heck ya, it’s an idea worth pursuing,” Donald said.

“Well, let me do a quick survey,” I said to the audience.

“I know I haven’t laid out my whole plan out but let me see how many of you right now would favor the Nawizi Tribe partnering with the State of Minnesota to build a casino, let me see your hands?”

Every hand shot up immediately. Everyone looked around and seen what the results of the impromptu survey was and they all stood up and gave themselves a big round of applause.

The impromptu vote did not surprise me. I knew in my heart of hearts that partnering with the state of Minnesota was an idea comparable to how Bill Gates and Mark Zuckerberg must have felt when they realized that they had a winner.

I said, “There are how many at this meeting tonight?

“A hundred twenty or thirty, that’s like only one percent of our tribe.”

“Do each of you think you could convince ten other tribal members to go along with the plan?” “Better yet, if we could get the support of twenty-eight hundred or so tribal members that would be the most consensus this tribe ever had on any issue, or that ever voted in our tribal elections.”

“But the problem is how do we each get twenty others beside ourselves to support this idea.”

Mercy Lays Bad stood up and said, “Talk about an odd name, how would you like to go thru life with a name like mine, anyway, it is what it is, I think we should get a petition going.”
“In our constitution it says we can petition our tribal government to do something.” “It only takes ten percent of the membership to get the tribe to act.”

“So, if our membership is twelve thousand members, that means we will have to get twelve hundred signatures.”

“I think we can do that, if each of us here night can get twenty signatures we could easily do it,” Agatha Pretty Sounding Drum,” said from the back of the room.

“Let’s take a short break and this will give us time to beak into groups and caucus the idea,” I said.

Part Two

I went out to my car and got my printer. If I can get this petition drafted right now I can print out copies and not lose any momentum, I thought to myself.

Ten minutes later I had the petition typed up on Microsoft Word and ready to be printed. I called the meeting back to order.

“I got the petition almost done I will print one for each of you tonight, I hope I got enough ink and paper.” “Hold on a sec, I’ll be done with it shortly.

Ten minutes later I said, “Okay, I ran off a few copies, I’ll have more tomorrow, pass it around, look it over, and if you like it I’ll print out one for each of you, there is enough space on the petition for fifteen signatures.”

“I got a question,” Sam Bald Spot said.

“Ta Ku (What)?” I asked.

“What if we get the required number of signers and we turn it into the tribal council and they don’t act on it, you know the Nawizi Tribes owes the Siouxdoe Tribe millions of dollars and the tribal council isn’t going to want to offend them by going into Minnesota with this casino idea.”

“I thought of that possibility.” “What I think is if the tribe doesn’t want to do it lets do it ourselves, let’s incorporate as a tribal organization, the hell with those chicken-shits on the tribal council,” I said.

An applause broke out from the audience.

“Hell ya,” someone hollered, “The hell with them chicken-cesdi’s who are always talking about being a sovereign nation and then don‘t know sovereignty if it slapped them in the face.”

“We’ll do this ourselves, we’ll incorporate and only those who join the corporation will be eligible to receive any benefits from the casino revenues.”

“Hell ya, I am in favor of that,” Donald Duck said.

“Do you think that will work Johnny Balls, do you think the State of Minnesota will work with a group like us or do you think that it has to be a tribal government.” Mercy Lays Bad asked.

“That is a good question, but I think if the State of Minnesota wants to have a casino, I think they would go along with it.”

“The way it is now, there are several groups of white people who want to do this, both of the race track groups in the Twin Cities area want slot machines, and there is a private businessman promoting this idea, so I don’t see why they would not consider a group of Indians rather than a tribal government, because when you think about it, we, all of us here tonight ARE THE TRIBE!” I said emphatically.”

“Next year, 2012, is the 150th anniversary of the 1862 Minnesota Great Sioux Uprising.” “We could use this to our advantage.”

“I don’t think most Minnesotan’s know anything about their history and how they screwed us out of twenty-four million acres of our land, of course, they don’t like to hear that either, so we’ll have to be careful how we us the 150th anniversary angle.”

“But, on the other hand it is a historical fact, and this maybe one of the reasons why we would be a logical choice to partner with the State of Minnesota.” I said.

“Okay, write your name on a small piece of paper were going to have some cash drawing,”

“And, while Bob Tail Bear get’s all of your names put in the hat I’ll pass out the ten dollar gas coupons.”

“And, thank you everyone for coming.”

“We’ll meet back here in two weeks, get your petitions filled out, and I’ll even have a door prize for the one who gets the third most signatures, and the one who collects the second most signatures.”

“And, the one who collects the most signatures gets to be the CEO of our new casino in Minneapolis.”

The group roars with laughter.

“One last thing Oyates (people) we got to move fast, the Minnesota Legislature doesn’t meet all year around like our tribal knuckleheads do, and they don’t pay themselves a hundred thousand dollars a year in salaries, so the Minnesota legislators got to get back to their regular jobs.”

“You all have my cell phone number, and if you need more copies of the petition let me know, and I’ll see you in two weeks.”

John Doe Skin, Betty Buffalo, and Jim Creek came up after the meeting and expressed their concerns and enthusiasm for the proposed plan to build a casino in the Minneapolis area.

“Man, if we can pull this off, this would be something nina tanka (real big).” Betty said.

“What kind of a split of the gaming revenues would they accept?” John asked.

“Well, normally when you partner ship with someone its usually fifty-fifty, or sixty-forty, or fifty-one, forty nine, but, this is something I have given a lot of thought to.” I think we should make it sooo attractive, that they can’t turn us down.”

“White people love taxpayers, that’s what makes their world go around.”

“In Indian country, we don’t pay taxes to support our tribal government infra-structure like taxes do in the white mans world, so I think we got to present this like were coming in there and will be taxpayers, and create thousands of jobs.”

“Now days casino rich Indian tribes don’t pay any taxes on their gaming income, instead they give away some of their money to various charities, which kind of pacifies those against Indian gaming.”

“But, the reality is the more wealthier gaming tribes give less then five percent of their gaming revenues away, even then that translates into millions of dollars, and in the process their charity fools the white people.”

“My idea is to ask for only twenty percent of the net gaming revenues.” “Twenty percent is still over a hundred million dollars a year.” I said.

“Just think what a hundred million dollars a year could do for us.” Jim Creek added.

“A hundred million dollars every year.” Betty Buffalo chimed in. “Wow!”

“Just think,” I said, “If we had a hundred million dollars a year and we bought tribal members a one hundred fifty thousand dollar home, fully equipped and furnished, nothing like the stuff the government builds us.”

“One million dollar could buy six homes and if we spent fifty million dollars a year we could build two hundred and fifty homes a year.” “Holay, in no time at all every tribal member could have a nice home.”

“In just five years we could build twelve hundred and fifty homes.”

“And, we also had a program to teach people how to take care of a nice home.”

“Unlike now days, the government builds us a new housing project and in a few years it’s just another reservation ghetto.”

“We need to get away from that kind of mentality.”

“Then, each year we could allocate ten million dollars just for scholarships.”

“So, that would still leave us forty million dollars for other programs and needs.”

“Holay!” Betty, Jim, and John said in unison.

Part Three

I spent the next two weeks encouraging the original group to get signatures. In only seven days we had over fifteen hundred signatures. Everyone said they could get more signatures.

We can easily get over two thousand they promised me.

The Siouxdoe Tribe in Minnesota has their spies on the Nawizi reservation so it wasn’t more than a week after our meeting that I got a call from the Siouxdoe Tribal Chairman, Manny Crooked Road.

He said, “You’re a hard guy to track down Mr. Balls.” “I having been hearing rumors that your trying to come to Minnesota and start up a casino in the Twin Cities area.”

“I told you before Mr. Balls, leave it alone!”

“You could get hurt real bad if you come to Minnesota and fuck with our gaming.”

In 2008 the Siouxdoe Tribe banished me from their small reservation located just south of Minneapolis for presenting this same idea to the Nawizi Tribal Council.

I though that was rather stupid and arrogant of the Siouxdoe Tribe to do that, but if you got a billion dollar war chest, I guess that gives you the right to throw your weight around. I thought them banishing me or as they called it “trespassing” was stupid because it’s not like I ever have to go to their casino, I might have a weakness for Crown Royal Black, but I don’t have a compelling need to play anyone’s slot machines.
Dummies, the audacity of them, I thought to myself.

I wanted to say, “Are you threatening me Mr. Chairman,” but that sounded so trite.

Instead I said, “Hey Chief, just like back in 2008, the gutless Nawizi tribal council will not go along with it because the Nawizi Tribe owes your tribe millions of dollars, so it ain‘t a done deal yet.”

“And, on that threat you just made, one of these days I’d really like to go outback with you and see how tough you are.”

“Your money doesn’t scare me, and you would have to be pretty stupid to send a goon squad after me because everyone I know, knows what’s up you butt hole.”

“Calm down Balls, I was just poking a little fun at you.”

“I am calm Chief, I just don’t like fakey Indian Chiefs trying to jack me around, I don’t know if you know this but I am a combat veteran which I know doesn’t mean jack shit to you butt holes who never went into the service.”

“So, whatever you think you can do to me doesn’t scare me because as far as I am concerned I have been living on borrowed time anyway.”

“So Chief what is the purpose of your call?”

“How would like a million tax free dollars?”

“Sure.”

“Simple, just keep your brown-ass out of Minnesota.”

“You’re a bright boy Balls, you know the Nawizi Triibal Council isn’t going to come to Minnesota.”

“Were going to spend millions to block any attempt to expand gaming in Minnesota.”

“Its not your tribe we‘re worried, it’s you talking with the private businessman and the Racino people that has got us worried.”

“I know you’re using the 150th Anniversary of the 1862 War and playing on their guilt.”

“I am just trying to cover all the bases.”

“A million to you is just part of protecting our gambling monopoly.”

“You know the gaming revenue numbers” “We can’t afford to lose this one.”

“And, if I don’t cooperate?”

“Have you ever heard of Damocles Sword the Tribal Chairman asked?”

“Dionysius lived in the fourth century B.C.”

“Dionysius was very rich and comfortable, with all the luxuries money could buy. He even had court flatterers to inflate his ego. One of these was the court sycophant or ass kisser, Damocles. Damocles used to make comments to the king about his wealth and luxurious life. One day when Damocles complimented the Dionysius on his money and power.” “Dionysius said to Damocles, "If you think I'm so lucky, how would you like to try out my life?”

“Damocles readily agreed, and so Dionysius ordered everything to be prepared for Damocles to experience what life was like for Dionysius. Damocles was seated at a table enjoying himself until he noticed a sharp sword hovering over his head that was suspended from the ceiling by a horse hair. This, Dionysius explained to Damocles what life as a rich ruler was really like.”

Damocles, alarmed, quickly revised his idea of what made up a good life, and asked to be excused. He then eagerly returned to his poorer, but safer life.”

“If you think that all the money the Siouxdoe members have, think about Damocles, Mr. Balls.”

“If you are successful in your plan this is what your people will have to deal with.”

“And, Mr. Balls, there are many days I wished I was back on Franklin Avenue grinding out a living.”

“I’ve done my homework on you Balls and I know you’re a very principled man, and believe it or not, I respect you for that.”

“What I am trying to say is can you live with the monster that all the money will create?”

“I will predict that hundreds of your people will be negatively impacted by this new wealth.”

“Building everybody a home and having the money to send your kids to college is one thing, but the greed all this money will cause, the hard feelings, the money to buy dope, alcohol, and fast cars is another thing.”

“Hundred of your people will die premature deaths.”

“I urge you to give serious thought to what your doing.”

“I have.” I responded.” “I know that it will take a while for the people to learn to live with money and I am sure all that you laid out will happen to us.”

“It’s a risk that I am willing to take.”

“I will think about your offer, how long do I get to think about it?”

“I know you got a meeting in a couple of days, from what I hear you have enough signatures already, I am sure your not going to tell me what your planning after the tribal council rejects your petition drive.”

“And believe me they will.” “Trust me on that.”

“Goodbye Chief.” I said.

I lied, I never thought about the negative consequences of all the gaming money that would flow to those who joined our organization. Millions and millions of dollars annually, we could easily become the kid’s in the proverbial candy store.

Would I be able to control it?

All I thought about was the hundreds of home our new found wealth could buy and having the money to send our kids to college or vocational schools.

“Son of a bitch,” I cursed under my breath, the Siouxdoe Chairman hit me where it hurt the most, my conscience.”
I am a principled man, I strongly believe in right and wrong, life and death, heaven and hell. I knew I was very fortunate to have survived the Vietnam War, and for many years I was haunted by it daily. I thought daily about my comrades who didn’t make it home. To appease my guilt for surviving the war I had made a vow to make something of my life. I did not now want to be responsible for the needless death of many of my own people.

Part Four

I did not have to offer any ten dollar gas cards for this meeting, there were over five hundred people who showed up for our second meeting. The people had gathered 2,841 signatures, more then double the required amount we needed. And the original 129 who showed up for the first meeting were just proud of themselves.

“The Tribal Council meeting is on Thursday, I’ll call the Tribal Secretary and get on the agenda, it will probably be around four o’clock by the time we get on the agenda.”

“How many of you can attend?

I think the more of us that show up the better chance we have of getting the tribal council to got along with this.”

Almost everyone in attendance raised their hands.

“I got an interesting call from the Tribal Chairman of the Siouxdoe Tribe two days ago.”

“He offered me a million dollars to back off.”

“What did you tell him?” Bill White Man Runs Him asked.

“I told him I couldn’t do it, like I said before, I think were on to something huge here, but I am afraid that he’s got his tribal council in his back pocket.”

“I really don’t think the council will got along with us, the tribe owes the Siouxdoe tribe too much money, so we’ll have to incorporate a non-profit corporation under the tribes incorporation ordinances.”

“Anyone have any suggestions on what to call ourselves?” I asked.

“How about the Minnesota-Dakota Gaming Enterprise, MDGE,” Junior Boy Scout shouted.

“Sounds good to me, any objections to MDGE?”

Everyone raised their hand in approval.

“Okay then that’s what we’ll call ourselves.”

“I’ll take all the petitions in tomorrow to have them certified.”

I’ll let every one know what time we’ll be on the agenda, and I think we should raise some hell with them.”

“I think someone should ask them why are they letting the Siouxdoe Tribe rob us of our sovereignty.”

“Someone else should ask them why they would vote against such a great idea.”

“Someone else should say this is a once in a lifetime opportunity to make some real economic progress, instead of forever expecting handouts from the US government.”

A whole bunch of tribal members got up and enthusiastically supported the idea. Member after member offered suggestions on how to organize the corporation and what to do with the gaming revenues. After much discussion it was decided that we would hold an election and seat ten people on the MDGE corporation. They insisted that I would be the chairman of the corporation since it was my idea to partnership with the State of Minnesota to build a casino in the Minneapolis area.

The tribal council chambers were jammed pack.

The tribal police were called to prevent things from getting out of hand.

After much heated discussion the tribal council had the tribal police clear everyone from the council chambers and they went into executive session.

In the lobby a group of young Indian boys from the tribal school broke out a drum and began to drum and sing.

This created a festive noisy mood of a 49 dance.

After an hour the tribal council re-adjourned and told us that they would not go along with the plan.

When I asked why not, the Tribal Chairman gave the lame excuse that the white people in Minnesota won’t go along with the idea so the tribal council decided that it would be a waste of their time to pursue the idea.

Someone in the audience threw a plastic bag full of dog shit at them, another hollered, “You chicken shit, weak ass excuses for leaders.”

We expected this would happen so the next day we filed incorporation papers creating the Minnesota Dakota Gaming Enterprise. We hand carried the papers to the Tribal Secretary and watched him sign the documents.

Two days later the group nominated and elected nine other board members.

Our efforts kept the Siouxdoe Tribes local spies busy, I received another call from the Tribal Chairman of the Siouxdoe Tribe. He offered to give our group ten million dollars. I told the Chief I would get back to him and I then brought his offer to the group at our first MDGE board meeting.

“Holay sunka cesdi (holy dog poop) ten million bucks!” Donald Many Ducks said.

“If the twenty eight hundred people who signed the petition would split this up equally we would each get thirty-five hundred bucks, pardon the pun, you Bucks.” “Not bad for attending three meetings.”

“Shee-itt, we could make that much in one month if Minnesota went along with this idea.” Sheldon Iron said.

“But, if Minnesota says no to our idea, we just threw away ten million dollars, “ Betty Buffalo adds.

“Well, what are we proposing here anyway? Jim Creek asked.

“Gambling, right?”

“So, I say lets take a gamble, and go with our idea, and see where it takes us.”

All nine board members agreed. I also nodded in agreement, after all it was my idea.

“If the big Chief of the Siouxdoe Tribe calls again tell him it will take a hundred million dollars for us to back off,” Betty Buffalo said.

The next day I called the Minnesota Governor’s office and after several attempts I finally spoke with the Lieutenant Governor. I outlined my proposal and mentioned that 2013 is the 150th anniversary of us getting kicking us out of Minnesota.

I seemed genuinely interested, especially after I offered to bring a gaming proposal that would pay taxes on our share of the revenues and assist the State, or whoever, in their efforts to build the professional football team a new stadium.

Ironically, the Lt. Governor said, the Governor was in a meeting, as we spoke, with legislators and businessmen discussing how to fund a new professional football stadium.

“The billionaire owner doesn’t want to pay for it all by himself and is threatening to relocate the team so this is a huge issue on the Governor’s plate right now. The Governor will be very much interested in your proposal.”

I said, “On the matter of a new stadium I have never heard anyone propose this option before, but I think the domed football stadium in use now can be turned into a casino.”

“The transportation infrastructure is already there and it would solve the problem of competing locations.”

“I am sure the architects and engineers can re-design the old stadium and create it into a modern gaming facilty complete with a hotel.”

“If they can pack the staduim on game day with sixty thousand fans, certainly there is enough room to make a casino.”

“You presented some great ideas Mr. Balls.” The Lt. Governor said. “I am sure the Governor will also be pleased you called, let me assume you we will do our due diligence on all gaming proposals that come before us. I promise you that I will get back to you as soon as I can, I am glad you called, goodbye, talk to you later.”

We were elated. Most of the MDGE board was standing by me listening to the conversation and we’re all high-fiving each other.

“Now Johnny call the Siouxdoe Tribal Chairman and tell him we will back off if he gives us a hundred million dollars,” board member Gail Bird said.

“Ok, I’ve give him a call.” I dialed.

“Hey Chief, I called you to tell you that if you can get your people to jack up your offer to one hundred million dollars I will do my best to convince my people to take your offer.”

I then told him I had made contact with the Governors Office and a meeting was imminent.

“How did you prairie niggers come up with that number Balls?”

“That’s extortion!”

“I beg your pardon Chief, it ain’t any different then you giving away millions of dollars in so called charity to protect your gaming monopoly.”
“Go screw yourself Balls.”

“Watch you mouth Chief.“ I said.

“Hey, I have been meaning to ask you how do you spell Siouxdoe anyways?

“Let me give it a try: P-S-E-U-D-O,”

“That’s all you bastards are, pseudo-Indians.” I said.

“Our Minneapolis casino proposal is going to bring the original Indians, the real Indiansback to Minnesota.”

The Chief grunted something I couldn’t make out and hung up.

The next day the Minneapolis Tribune reported the football stadium meeting with the governor.

Numerous state legislators stated in the Tribune that they were adamant that the State was not going to fund a new football stadium with taxpayers money, especially with the five billion dollar deficit the State was facing.

The Tribune also reported that the idea to expand gaming in Minnesota was alive and well.

The pro gambling lobbyist and new football stadium advocates shifted into second gear, come hell or high water they wanted a casino and new football stadium in the Minneapolis area.

The Siouxdoe Tribe and their lobbyists were just as determined to keep their Twin Cities gambling monopoly.

At the board meeting of the Minnesota-Dakota Gaming Association I said, “History played a very cruel joke on us.” “The Siouxdoe imposters claim they are the descendents of the Mdewakanton’s.”

“The Mdewakanton’s started the War of 1862 that got us kicked out of Minnesota in 1863.”

“Won’t it be nice if history corrected itself?”

The end.